How to Find Your Soul Mate:
Secrets from the Kabbalah
By Guest Author: Rabbi David Aaron
Rabbi
David Aaron, Founder and Dean of the Isralight
Institute, is recognized worldwide as an expert on the Kabbalah
and is the best-selling author of:
Seeing
God: Ten Life Changing Lessons of the Kabbalah; Endless
Light : The Ancient Path of Kabbalah and The
Secret Life of God: Discovering the Divine within You
Everybody is looking for more
Several years ago I was invited to speak at a conference called
USA 2000. There were 2,000 single people there—and one married
rabbi. As I walked through the hallways of the enormous conference
hall, I noticed that most people had a strange nervous tick, a kind
of head bobbing. After a while I started to notice that the tick
was not consistent among all the participants. Some bobbed their
heads quickly up and down, while other’s bobbed in a long
drawn out way. Finally I realized that it was not a nervous tick
at all, but the participants were eyeing each other up and down.
During the conference I had a very uncomfortable conversation with
a woman who was “dressed to kill,” as the saying goes.
More specifically, she was undressed to kill. This woman was very
annoyed by the whole event. “You know, rabbi,” she sighed,
“I am so sick and tired of men looking at me like a piece
of meat.” I did not know what to say, other than, “So
why do you dress like a piece of meat?” But I thought, what
is the point? So I said to her, “You know what happens at
these singles events? Everybody is looking for more. They are looking
for an attractive person, and I can assure you that there will always
be somebody more handsome and beautiful than whom they’ll
find. They are looking for someone very intelligent, and I can assure
you that there is always going to be someone more intelligent. They
are looking for someone funny, and I can promise you that there
is somebody even funnier. They are looking for someone successful,
and I can guarantee you that there is someone even more successful.”
Looking for you soul mate
When you view people from the outside, sizing then up externally,
I explained to her, you will always find someone more beautiful,
more intelligent, funnier or more successful. But when you look
at someone on the inside, when you look at their true self, their
soul, you will never find anyone who can compare. And if you let
people see your soul then they will never find anyone who can compare
to you.
When you deal in the realm of the soul, however, you quickly realize
that no one in the world is alike. Kabbalah teaches that the soul,
your true “I” is none other than a spark of God, so
to speak, and therefore you are absolutely unique and incomparable.
And when you relate as a soul to another soul your true self radiates
a warm and brilliant divine light. Your true individuality shines
out.
Souls are attracted to souls
Kabbalah teaches that souls are really only interested in and attracted
to souls. The only thing that attracts us to another person is not
a thing at all. It is the spiritual, the essence, the divine—the
‘you’. The more that you can reveal yourself as a soul,
the easier it will be to find your soul mate. People are not looking
for their body mate; they are looking for their soul mate. But we
create shtick around ourselves. We delude ourselves and put on psychological
clothing that don’t fit. We assume certain ways of speaking
and acting that get in the way of letting our soul shine out.
I saw a comic strip from “Fifth St.” that depicts two
young disheveled-looking guys who are giving each other advice about
love, dating and marriage. One says to the other, “I am basically
looking for a girl who will love me for who I think I am.”
I know a lot of people who unknowingly have this problem. Rather
than being real with who they are, they are lost in their self-delusions.
Personal growth begins with being real about who you are so that
you can start the journey towards becoming the “me”
you want to be.
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