Love is in the air

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Love is in the air

No not because of Valentine’s Day, silly. Because the Almighty created the universe with Love. That’s what life is all about. And who isn’t thrilled to love and be loved? You don’t even need anyone else, just you and the Infinite.

Loving others

Love makes people happy. And it can be done with anyone you know. Every human being you know has Divine qualities that make them special and unique. Every person you know could fill your heart with joyous love. But it does take effort.

Three simple tools

What should you do? First of all you have to think about the love you’re familiar with. Ask almost any parent if they love their child (with the possible exclusion of parents of teens) and they will say, “Of course.” Ask them what they love about their child and they will list attributes, with some of them only in potential. Potentially special and wonderful. That’s how many parents view their child. They love them now because of the innate potential they have. Right now they are a three year old stubborn mess making, nose picking whining kid that has way too many needs. But they are gorgeous and cute and filled with potentially wonderful traits.

Look at anyone you know and ask yourself what their innate potential is, what traits do they possess on the inside.

Second, think of the challenges they have struggled with or are still struggling with. Each person has a different set of circumstances that make them great. One person might have a mother-in-law that’s an absolute witch. Another person has a boss like Attila the Hun.  Another person quit their addiction to smoking or alcohol. We all have challenges and struggles. That’s part of life. An average person may have succeeded tremendously with a challenge that I would have fallen apart in front of.

The last thing to do is make sure we aren’t confused about love and infatuation. Love makes us feel good. Infatuation also makes us feel good. How can you tell the difference? Well it’s easy to see in others. When one person is infatuated they demand, insist, connive, and force the relationship to be more than the other party is interested in. When she takes out a restraining order on you, that’s a good indication its infatuation, not love. Infatuation is also blind. You can’t see his faults. Everyone tells you not to marry him because he’s dishonest, into drugs, treats women badly, spends beyond his means, doesn’t show up for work on time, etc. etc. A parent that loves a child will get irate when a child isn’t using his/her potential. They’ll get sick over it. Infatuation says, “Oh he just likes to have fun. What’s the big deal? Don’t you believe people can change? Why are you so judgmental?” Infatuation excuses all the flaws.

Recap

How to love?

1. Look at the potential in others.
2. Notice how others have dealt with challenges.
3. Know the difference between love and infatuation.

Love is one of the greatest gifts the Almighty gave us. And we have the opportunities all around us. Go out and get some love!


Romantic Relationship Principles, Based on the Kabbalah

1. If you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, your soulmate will cross your path.

2. Without self-knowledge, it’s tough to notice your other half.

3. If you haven’t met your soulmate yet, you may have some spiritual work to do, or your soulmate may have some spiritual work to do.

4. Marriage and family are not the goal of life. The goal of life is to be one with God.  Marriage and family are ways to achieve that goal.

5. Since your true self is the soul, it’s important you and your spouse are on the same wavelength on spiritual issues.  This doesn’t mean total agreement, or even a common attitude.  But on the big issues, there must be common ground, like is there a God or not, is there an afterlife, what’s the goal of life, etc.

6. True love is when you want the other person to be happy.  Attraction and infatuation are not real love.  Almost all romantic heartache comes from confusing infatuation with love.

7. Love is connecting with and identifying another’s good traits, and experiencing emotional pleasure from that connection.

8. When “chemistry” is not mutual, it isn’t real and substantive.

9. God’s love is unconditional and eternal. Ours should be as well.  When love is dependent on superficial things like money or looks, if the money or looks disappear, the love disappears.  For love to last, it must be based on something deeper.

10. If everyone you know thinks you shouldn’t be with the one you’re with, they’re probably right.

11. On a spiritual level, you and your spouse are actually one entity.  You wouldn’t take revenge on yourself.  Don’t take revenge on your spouse.

12. Spirituality is the one thing that can save a marriage from almost any problem.

13. Common goals unite a marriage, but unity of purpose makes you one.

14. When you find yourself saying “So and so is the perfect person for me BUT….” Then they aren’t the perfect person for you.

15.  If you’re spending time and energy on a bad relationship, it makes it hard to be open to the right relationship when it arrives.

16.  The best antidote to emotional pain is prayer and meditation.